blog.k12directoryofschools.com

It’s too easy for us to spoil our kids, especially with the memories lingering about from our own childhoods. Spoiled adults find the impulsiveness to carry it on to their sons and daughters, and the not-so-spoiled want to live vicariously through junior. Spoiling your children could lead to less-than-positive social behaviors in school though, and your child’s social development is just as critical as their academic development when transitioning into the “real world.” In fact, many elementary schools will grade children on social performance. Ask yourself these questions:

• Does my child follow rules?
• Does my child stop when I say “stop”?
• Does my child fight about everything? Is it difficult to keep my child happy?
• Does my child beg for unnecessary items (like toys) as if they were as necessary as food?
• Does my child think about the wants and needs of other family members?
• Does my child break out into uncontrollable tantrums?

These help determine the telltale signs of spoiled children. Here’s five ways to prevent spoiling your child while not seeming like the stickler parent. This is an excellent habit to get into before a child is entering kindergarten (or anytime thereafter!) so that there are no social conflicts at school.

1: No unwarranted allowance.

An allowance shouldn’t just translate into money; it should also be symbolic of a sense of earning. Start a work ethic your child early so they will carry it for the rest of their life, from finishing homework assignments to succeeding at their first job. Make your child’s allowance contingent on household chores such as taking out the trash, washing the windows, and taking care of the family pet.

2: Limit the clothing shopping sprees.

Especially when it comes to children that wear expensive, name-brand clothes for status, shopping sprees for the new semester’s closet can become pricey and expected quickly. Place a budget on your child’s clothing expenditure; this will let your child consider the pros-and-cons of the two name-brand sweaters versus the five generic sweaters and three pairs of jeans. If your child still opts for the name-brand clothing, they will take extra-care of it knowing how much clothing it could’ve translated into at your local Target.

3: Stick to the rules set.

If there’s a bedtime at 9 o’clock, then you have to reinforce the 9 o’clock bedtime. If you say that children have to try food before they refuse to eat it, make sure they try the food. Once a child learns that rules are flexible, they will keep trying to flex them. At the same time, remember your own childhood and try to be forgiving.

4: Learn to say “no.”

A child that doesn’t understand the meaning of the word “no” will turn into an ornery adult. Children need to understand that “no” is as often of a responsible in life as “yes” is, and not all their requests will be adhered to. If your sixteen-year-old wants a new car for their birthday, “no” is a perfectly valid response.

5: Act as a role model for your child.

To show your child that they don’t need the next unnecessary toy they see, demonstrate your wants and how you do not always adhere to them yourself. Don’t always get your favorite snack at the grocery store when your child is with you; tell them it’s an infrequent treat. By exhibiting the values and habits you want your child will display, you will inevitably create a monkey-see monkey-do approach.

Here are some do not’s for setting boundaries for a spoiled child:

• Never abuse your child, physically or verbally.
• Never enforce several rules at once. Your child will become overwhelmed and look at rules negatively.
• Never compare a child to a sibling or friend. Your child is an individual and should not feel like they have to follow the shadow of someone else.
• Never tell your child that you do not love/like them.

Follow these steps and you’ll be leading your child to a successful social relationship with peers and faculty at school!